Free Sketch – Proposition 12
On the set of a 'mac vs. PC' style stage. A series of normal Americans address the camera earnestly.
Man One
With the recent triumph of proposition 8, the institution of marriage has been made a little safer, but there's still more work to be done.
Woman
Alternative lifestyles continue to erode the traditions that generations of American-value loving Americans hold dear.
Man Two
That's why next election you'll be hearing more about Proposition 12.
Woman
Proposition 12.
Man Two
Prop 12.
Woman
An important new piece of legislation to continue the work we've started.
Man Two
A new law whose purpose is simple and to the point.
Man One
To stop gay people from looking at me.
Man Two
For too long, gay people have been looking at me.
Woman
Why?
Man Two
Why are you looking at me... gay person?
Woman
How much longer must Americans be made uncomfortable by gay people looking at them?
Man Two
Making eye contact at a grocery store.
Woman
Or the gym...
Man Two
Or a bathhouse.
Woman
Proposition 12 will ensure that Americans can feel safe again. By making it illegal for homosexuals to make eye contact with them. Or stand too closely.
Man Two
I mean, seriously. (emotional) Why are you looking at me?
Man One
America has been divided for too long. We need unity. And that's what Prop 12 will provide. It will bring Americans together into two distinct unified groups.
Woman
So tell your friends about this important upcoming choice.
Man One
A new law that will require homosexuals to avoid eye contact with traditional Americans.
Woman
And wear this patch at all times. (Holds up a pink triangle patch).
Man One
Vote yes on Proposition 12.
Woman
I'm voting yes on Proposition 12.
Man Two
(just crying)
Man One
Vote yes.
Man Two
(still crying, transitions to blur)
Super-imposed: Yes on Proposition 12
Freak Dance! The Forbidden Dirty Bugaloo
If you're in the Los Angeles area, you can check out one my latest works at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre. The show is called Freak Dance: The Forbidden Dirty Bugaloo. It will be playing every Friday till June 13. I co-wrote it along with Matt Besser and Jake Anthony (more credits below).
Kari Byron Facebook Decision
I'm having a hard time deciding which Kari Byron Facebook group I want to join:
- Kari Byron from Mythbusters is HOT!!!
- Kari Byron can bust my myth
- I am in love with Kari Byron
- Kari Byron Blinded Me With Science
- i would totally throw it to kari from mythbusters.
- I want to bang Kari from Mythbusters
- I love Kari Byron aka 'the redhead from Mythbusters'
- Kari Byron can do my homework
- KARI BYRON IS A GODDESS
- Kari Byron: Hottest Engineer ever.
- The Kari Byron Fanclub
- Kari Byron from Myth Busters is a severe hottie
- Kari Byron Aficionados
- Kari Byron is Hot!
- I want to canoe kari byron from the mythbusters
- Kari Byron will make me bust more than a myth!!!
- I would bang Kari Byron.
- Kari Byron the Perfect Woman
- Kari Byron Fan Club
- Kari Byron can bust more than my myth
- I Hate Carrie Byron from the Mythbusters
- I want to marry Kari Byron
- Tory Belleci and Kari Byron should totally hook up
- I think Kari Byron is a babe!
- I want to make LOVE to Kari Byron
- kari byron apreciation thingy magig
- Mythbuster Kari is So Hot That She Knocks My Socks Off
- I'll admit it, I have a crush on that chick from mythbusters
- OMG The Chick from Mythbusters is soooo hot!!!
- I Would Fuck That Chick From Mythbusters
So tough to narrow it down.
A Holiday Classic
Who can forget this classic tale of unrequited love. The audio might be a little NSFW in places (put on your headphones).10 Things You Should Not Say in Your Job Interview
1. "I work well with others. I also work well on others."
2. "This job will serve me well until 'The Quickening' begins."
3. "I believe in a diverse workplace. Some of my best friends are darkies."
4. "I'm not big on pants."
5. "Things didn't work out so well at my last job. Apparently they hate the 2nd Amendment."
6. "My sponsor says this is a great place to work."
7. "I'm looking for a job that will really challenge me. At my last job, all those that challenged me were swiftly felled by the cold steel of my warhammer."
8. "I feel like my strengths are time management and appearing productive."
9. "My relationship with God is an important part of my life. He's sitting beside me."
10. "What happened to your face?"
Through the Looking Glass
Ever heard the adage: "Maybe one day schools will get all of the money they need and the Army will have to hold a bakesale to buy a bomber."
I give you: armybakesale.com
This site was created by Ari Voukydis, Pete Olson and myself. Original baked goods were created by Julie Tudor and Erika Kern.
No Shirts
In case you missed it. I took some photos for Improv Everywhere's latest mission. It was called 'No Shirts' (an homage to their 'No Pants' mission).
Check it out here.
